So I went to see Eclipse the other night. Holy crap. It was so freakin boring. It just went on and ONNNNN. Finally I was so sick of it (and sick of looking at Kristen Stewart’s 2 front teeth) that I just walked out. I can count the number of movies I have walked out of on one hand.

The Unfortunate Real Kristen Stewart

My crude Photoshop drawing of Kristen Stewart

Cartman disguised as a retard.

I finally saw Sherlock Holmes for the first time. It was absolutely awesome. I have read the entire Sherlock Holmes collection, and I don’t remember this story being in there so it must have been an original screenplay, but I think Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be extremely proud of the film. The story was brilliant, the acting was excellent, and the cinematography was amazing.

Funny thing is, when I was watching it I kept thinking that they were totally ripping off Guy Ritchie (and doing a fantastic job, mind you.) I knew nothing about the film prior to renting it, other than it had Robert Downey Jr. in it. Finally as soon as the movie ended the first thing that popped up was that it was a Guy Ritchie film. I was pleased, not only that he had taken on a film that was somewhat different from all his other films, but also that my suspicions were affirmed. I only wish I had known it was Guy Ritchie all along, or else I wouldn’t have spent the whole movie blaming them for the rip-off.

I did have one problem with the film, however. Downey’s British accent (and the others’ accents as well) were so completely British that I had a hard time understanding a lot of the dialogue! I want to watch the film again with captioning on just so I can catch everything. Ha ha ha…

Anyway, everyone has probably already seen it so I don’t need to do any recommending but I just wanted to make a note that I thought this was a great film; and I love Robert Downey Jr. and Guy Ritchie even more now.

I always see these awesome old cars in Bangkok.

I saw this car on my way to 7-11 one day. I have no idea what kind of car it is, but it’s totally old and fully pimped out! I love the red wheels!

Today I saw a copper mid-90′s Honda accord. It was bright copper, not like an old penny, but like an almost pink shiny new one. And it was in mint condition. Yesterday I saw a mid-90′s Corolla that was lime gold. LIME GOLD! It was rad. And to make it even better, on the back was mounted a gigantic F1 racing spoiler. On a Corolla! Ha ha ha…

Once I saw a fully restored 60′s Mustang and a mint-condition Chevelle in the same day. Totally rad.

Anyway, about the sunburn part… Today I went to the pool again but I took my book with me this time. I’m reading “The Collectors” by David Baldacci. I had a nice time just perched in the corner of the pool reading for about an hour. I was facing away from the sun, with my arms out of the pool and my book on the concrete. I figured I might get some sun on my shoulders but I wasn’t too concerned. It was just so nice and cool and refreshing… Finally I went home and commenced the rest of my daily activities.

So I just looked in the mirror and my ENTIRE back is sunburned. All the way down to my lower back! I can’t figure it out, because I was submerged up to my armpits. Anyway, I guess the water doesn’t reflect the sunlight like I thought it would… From now on maybe I can get one of the maids to spray me with sunscreen before I go, because I can’t do it myself. Durnit, it was so refreshing! I want to do it every day now.

So now I’m just waiting for the brown and peel that always happens to me when I get too much sun.

Today was half-price day at the movie theater so I decided to go see “Knight & Day” starring Cameron Despaz and Tom Schnooze. It was… ok. Don’t waste your money, wait for the DVD. p.s. I have no idea where they got the title – I thought it would be from their last names or something… but no. Kind of stupid. Oh, and I could make a movie with better special effects.

Anyway, I got there at 3:45 because at night it gets really packed because of the promotion. I saw on the display that there was a showing at 3:30, which was perfect timing because I would only need to wait 15 minutes for the previews to end. The guy told me it had already started and I said I knew. His English sucked and he was confused so he went back to get a manager or something. I was waiting for like 5 minutes and finally some girl came out of the back and told me that there was no 3:30 showing. I tried to argue but there was no getting past them. So I reluctantly bought a ticket for the 5:00 showing and skulked away.

I guess I should preface this with my story about my sour cream issues. Well, remember the first time I went to Carrefour, and they had sour cream (among all the other goodies)? Well, I have been back there about 5 times SPECIFICALLY for the purpose of buying sour cream and they never frigging have it. 5 times! And I specifically went early in the day so it wouldn’t have been before all the sour cream had sold out. But still they never had it. I kept getting angrier and angrier and wondering if they had just stopped stocking it, or why they didn’t have several different kinds so at least one would be in stock. Finally I decided they had just discontinued it and I would never get sour cream again.

But I need it for my chili bake and nachos! So now that I had an hour to kill at Esplanade, I decided to walk down to Carrefour and verify that no, they indeed are not selling sour cream anymore. But on the way I decided that actually, they probably WOULD have it just this once, since I was waiting for my movie to start and didn’t have time to buy it and take it home and then get back to the theater.

So I arrived at Carrefour and guess what? No, guess what??? Yep, they friggin had it!! But it was a different brand. Which made me even more annoyed, since now I knew that they stocked TWO brands of sour cream, but some idiots were going in there and buying up the whole lot before I could ever get some. I left the store angrily and went back to Esplanade.

I was outside having a smoke and looked at the time… only 4:20. Then I realized fudge it, I DID have time to buy it and go back home because of the friggin 30 min of previews! So I walked back to Carrefour and bought the whole stack of sour cream. I think it was like 13 or something. Luckily sour cream freezes well. I took a motorbike taxi back home and dropped it off, and then walked back to Esplanade. I still had plenty of time.

Finally, to end the story, I was looking at the grid of all the store icons outside of Esplanade, and I realized that one of them was Tops supermarket. I knew it was there before but I got to thinking that it might have something special about it since I had seen a lot of farang coming out of there. Since I still had time, I decided to go check it out.

I went inside, saw the yogurt section and in 5 seconds I had found not one but TWO different brands of frigging sour cream. And fully stocked. I could have been going to get sour cream every day, and it’s closer to my house… FNA. At least now I know. Forget Carrefour and your stupid high prices.

And I still had to sit through 3 previews and 4 commercials…

Today turned out to be a lovely hot sunny day, so I decided to go do some swimming in the pool. Don’t worry, I don’t smell like chlorine now — there’s not a drop of chlorine in that pool. And I know it’s not a salt water filtration system. But I do know that every day after school there’s about 50 kids playing in it. Gross!

Anyway, thinking about that made me think about one of the things I hated about China. Spitting. People are always spitting there, everywhere, no matter where you are walking, there is someone spitting. And they don’t even do it a cool way – you know, where you shoot it out of your mouth like a bullet straight to the ground. No, you’ll see these ugly old grammas just bent over, letting the spit slowly ooze out of their mouths; making a long trail of glob hanging from their mouth. Finally they’ll release it with a ptthhhh. It’s totally disgusting.

So the reason this has to do with swimming is that once I went to a public pool in China with my friend and I was taking a rest between laps and I noticed people spitting into the grate around the edge of the pool. They didn’t realize, or probably more accurately — care — that this water gets recycled back into the pool. It was just like a sink to them, for them to spit up in. No class. Absolutely NO class.

I also remember being at the beach and trying to have a nice swim in the water, but noticing that everyone around me was hacking up giant globs and just spitting them out into the water. No class…

China sucks.

Today I woke up super early to go to the Immigration office and get my re-entry permit for when I go to Utah at the end of the month. I forced myself out of bed at 7, got all ready and wide awake and then looked outside and it was pouring rain. It was too early to take the free Tuk-Tuk from my apartment to the subway, so I decided I just wouldn’t go today and tried to go back to sleep. Of course I couldn’t. Finally at 9:30 it had stopped raining and I figured that since I had all my crap ready to go I should just go and get it over with. The only problem was that I knew I’d be getting there after most of the earlies and would have to wait. But I decided to try my luck since the last time I went for this particular purpose I was literally the only person in there and was out in like 5 minutes. It was like a graveyard. So I crossed my fingers and headed out.

When I got to the end of the subway line I still had a 10 minute cab ride to the immigration center. The last time I went there the guy ended up driving me to another building way past the actual place, and then when the security told him where he actually needed to go he got me there. He was cool, didn’t charge me the extra dollar it had ended up costing on the meter. So I was a bit nervous as I started looking out for oncoming taxis.

I had my map in hand and finally flagged down a cab. The first guy just shook his head and drove off. The second guy took forever looking at the map and the address and then finally said he knew where it was. That should have been my first warning to just get another taxi. But stupidly, I trusted him, and got in and we were off. My second clue was when he veered right instead of left at a big interchange. I told him he wasn’t going the right way but he said he was going that way because there was less traffic. I was unconvinced, but there wasn’t really anywhere to make him stop and let me out.

Finally we ended up in a strange part of town where I knew we were not headed in the right direction at all. I told him he was going the wrong way again and he was like “It’s not right here??” We stopped at the building he THOUGHT we should be at and asked the security about where we were going; and I showed them the map and they did some long explanation to him in Thai. We drove off and he said ok ok he knew where it was; but I didn’t trust him and I wasn’t going to let him have any more of my money. The meter was already up to 4 bucks. So we got to a semi-major road and I told him to stop, gave him his money and got out. I wanted to get somebody who could look at the map for less than a minute and know where we were supposed to go.

The next cab driver looked at the map and said he knew where it was, and i trusted him. We had to take the EXPRESSWAY back to get on the right path, another 2 bucks. So the whole trip ended up costing me 10 bucks instead of 3. But we did get there and I thanked the taxi driver and told him I was sorry for yelling at him when we were getting onto the expressway.

Now I was really mad at the original driver. I wanted to track him down and beat his skinny little face in.

Unfortunately, I had only just ARRIVED at the immigration office, and who knew what awaited me inside. I went in and got my number and sure enough, there were 20 people ahead of me in the queue. But actually the queue was going pretty fast so I think I only spent about 30 minutes inside. Now I got my permit to come back to Thailand. Before I left the immigration office, I asked the girl at the help desk to write in CLEAR THAI some instructions on my map for all taxi drivers that I can show them from now on. If anyone takes me where I don’t want to go he’s either getting stiffed or beat up, or both.

Now I had to get another taxi back to the subway… Luckily everyone knows where the subway station is so we drove right there this time.

p.s. This is not the first time a taxi driver has screwed me by not going where I told him or taking me on a longer unnecessary route. I’m sick of it.

I just discovered an old gem on HBO. It’s called “Almost Heroes” starring Chris Farley and Matthew Perry. It’s hilarious! Matthew Perry is perfect in his role as Colonial American socialite, and Chris Farley is just classic awesome Chris Farley. So many great lines in this movie.

One of them is at the beginning after Farley wakes up from a night of drunken debauchery, and Perry says “I’m surprised you’re even hungover at all, considering the amount you regurgitated into the harpsichord.” Ha ha ha…

I highly recommend this movie.

Today was like Christmas! I finally got my Adobe CS5 Master Suite! Thanks Nicole! Thanks for mailing it, dad!

I’m totally stoked because my last version of Photoshop and Illustrator were CS2, and my Flash and Dreamweaver were still Macromedia versions… Waaaaay old. But now I’m 100% up-to-date and don’t need to upgrade for another 5 years! Ha ha ha…

When I went out for lunch I saw this weird looking guy walking up the stairs to Fortune Town as I was going down. He was a little tall and lanky, and walked like Igor. He was wearing what looked like pajama bottoms, an old T-shirt and flops. His hair was a strange cut… long in places and short in others; and it looked like he hadn’t washed it or combed it for about 5 days. He was with 2 other dudes that looked pretty normal. Anyway, as they passed I heard him say “My feet really hurt” in a thick Australian accent. So it was more like “Moey feeat realeee hahht.” I thought, “My eyes really hurt after looking at you.”

I saw another guy (Thai) who was wearing a T-shirt that said “I (heart) BOYS” but the word “boys” had been crossed out and underneath it said “PEACE.” He didn’t look gay at all. But he did look really stupid wearing that T-shirt.

It was the 4th of July… I didn’t realize it until about 11 pm when I called my mom and she reminded me. I spent my entire 14 waking hours without seeing another human being. Not even on the T.V. (I didn’t turn it on.) This is not an atypical day for me… Am I a freak?

I did see 3 cats though.

Why do I hate ham, but I love bacon so much?